couturierer:

if i ever got sentenced to house arrest i’d just laugh at the judge

(Source: matthewcodymoore, via socially-awesome-panda)

heartcramp:

Look, if you nicely tell me that swearing makes you uncomfortable and you politely ask me not to, I will stop immediately and speak nicer than a nun.

But if you start acting like you’re on some fucking high horse, or telling me that I’m going to Hell for talking the way that I do and you can’t “be around that kind of language” then you can bet your motherfuckin’ ass that I’ll be fucking cussing like a cunt-fuckin’ sailor you maggot-ridden piece of dick.

(via socially-awesome-panda)

eatingnulooo:

authoritydangerheartkilljoy:

nobodoysaiditwaseasy:

Pug’s are legends

Why can’t I go any stairs that flawlessly and fabulously?

Genuinely hurts. 

(via socially-awesome-panda)

luigivanpeebles:

rabioheab:

instead of sending me nudes, send me photos of you wearing so many layers of clothes that you can’t even move 

(via benitobc)

oprahs-right-nipple:

when i was at my first high school there was this really religious girl who would tell you off if you swore or said stuff like ‘oh my god’ and then one day she wouldn’t stop correcting the science teacher and he just turned around and went “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST SOPHIE SHUT THE FUCK UP” and she freaked out and started praying and then the next week her parents tried to sue the teacher 

(via socially-awesome-panda)

(via socially-awesome-panda)

worldfallsdown:

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo only started showing in the UK a few weeks ago, and my mum is addicted.

I asked her why she likes it so much and she just said all the family seems really close and happy, and they make the best of what they have - so it reminds her of how close her family was as a kid. How can you not aww at that.

(via socially-awesome-panda)

In the winter I sleep with twelve blankets on.

In the summer I turn on a fan then sleep with twelve blankets on.

(Source: gettingcrazywiththecheezewhiz, via socially-awesome-panda)

(via perfect-hangoverfood)

socially-awesome-panda:

Here is a GIF that exists.

(Source: mmue11er, via sketchass-arachnafondler)

inhalers:

business in the front

Party in the back

(Source: inhalers, via thehomosexuallyfrustrated)

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

i-am-mr-clever:

TH-THEY JUST SHOWED UP OUT OF NOWHERE

(Source: fuckyeahdementia, via mypatronusisnevillelongbottom)

w-atercolored:

explainings:

well i need this on my blog

Same

(via mypatronusisnevillelongbottom)

mypatronusisnevillelongbottom:

fffcuk:

today this girl asked me if we were hiring and we are but i told her we weren’t because right now im the prettiest girl that works here and if she got hired i wouldn’t be anymore

That’s slightly awful.